ALOHA

Its over. The exams are over! Teehee.

Imma welcome my holidays with open arms. Hello bob, time to take over the world! (:

Goodnight.

A SERIES OF _ EVENTS

congratulations to Kris Allen for winning AI.

(but omg how can Adam NOT win! sheesh. come to Asia if your people dont appreciate you as much please.) i am not a fan of KISS. but Adam was a good motivating factor. ugh.

regardless, Kara Dioguardi ftw! (:

ever since managerial econs ended, i have started enjoying my 'break'. i've finished the only available box of the taiwanese "Queen of No Marriage" and the Korean drama "Boys Over Flowers". i have slept in almost everyday and ate positively like a fat cow too. and guess what,

i still have hrm on the coming friday!

knowing my affinity with this subject, you would think that i have the common sense to make full use of this 14days to mug for that paper. haha.

i surprise myself too, nonetheless.

and just when i've convinced myself that i have absolutely no other procrastination-proned alternative left to studying, i have to get a sore eye.

and it has not yet gone away for 3days already.

perfecto.

ITS MAY 12TH.

ord lo.

then macro tmr and managerial econs on thursday.

life is bittersweet. tsk.

THANK YOU CHOCOLATE MAN.

the only good part of yesterday was the lady singer at the hk-ish restaurant. she's really really good. serenades with her soothing voice, effects akin to that of corinne may's. when she do her mandarin renditions, it kinda like hearing tanya chua.

if you get my drift. fantastic.

like all times, you can never really really have one extremely good day. its not that you dont want to, its because you let other people affect your mood. haha. true to it, i let one asshole do it.

really. asshole. and i'm not going to take the term back just because youve apologized for what you did to me.

maybe if you tried screaming to the same crowd, i might consider. ha.

then again, perhaps i may not feel like it.

either way, i got what i need. its high time i started studying, again. ughhh. i hope time snails through.

i pray for luck. thanks.

COUNTDOWN over.

Today is the 7th.

I'm sitting at expo's coffeebean, staring out of the window, my gaze fixated on the grounds outside hall3. Hall3, is my exam hall where i'm going to be taking my sociology exam.

It starts at 230pm. due to the current swine flu, we've gotta report an hour earlier for temeprature taking. But i was here since 1245pm. Haha.

Eager, i know.

Everyone around me is trying to cram notes into their brains. Whispering to themselves,scratching their heads furiously. There's this one guy who actually gestures to no one in particular. (none from my class, HAHA)

LOL. I know how goffman feels. If it wasnt because coffeebean was situated just above the hall, you would have thought that these young people were mental.

I, despite this peer pressure, am still sitting here, oblivious to the wasting of time. I actually feel peace.

I hope slow and steady wins the race! (: Haha.

040509

if only you can read my mind.

its been one year. technically, one year and a day because its past midnight.

we had dinner over at grandma's. somehow the atmosphere seemed sombre and a tad heavier than usual. no one talked about him. no one lament over anything in particular. no one did anything out of the ordinary.

we have the grandmother rushing us to 'come eat and finish the food'. we have the aunties asking the young ones how to operate their latest tech toys. we have the males reading newspapers or watching the telly after dinner. we have the kids being drawn to the wii and the computer. we even have desserts. its as if everyone just came together without 'that' reason. its as if everyone tried to ignore because its more convenient.

at 8, however, it happened. everyone of us gathered at the altar, and prayed. we did the Divine Mercy prayer in English and another prayer in Teochew. its been almost more than half a year since we last did it, but somehow it felt close to each of our hearts.

close, almost raw feeling, like the unfortunate just happened not too long ago. the prayer, like a key, was the cue to let the facade go. some started letting their tears fall, some bit it back. without a doubt, everyone missed him.

i miss him. badly. when i close my eyes and willed my fences away, i can almost see the whole re-enactment of that day in my head. it doesnt get easier to cope, or swallow. it doesnt really sink in.

how can someone so present in your life just stop being there. everytime when i feel brave enough to let my thoughts wander to him, i end up shutting myself from the world. because in the real world, he doesnt exist anymore. in the real world, i cant feel his presense, i cant hear him, i cant touch him and i cant even see him. in the real world, anything that associates with the void that he left me with brings about heartache.

immense sadness, and tears.

but the world still goes on. nothing stops for change. nothing stops for loss. everyone in the family still goes to work and school, still argues when there are disagreements, still laugh and meet up. we still celebrate major holidays together, we still (try) to have the same fun.

of course, life for my family still stays more or less the same, albeit the omission of Father's Day and the oldman's birthday (which have more or less become taboos).

life sucks like that.

and before you know it, its a new day. its already the 5th of May.

MAYDAY, MEYHAM.

Its finally here. Time has once again managed to creep by in stealth mode to allow this (dreadful) 5th month to suffice.

Labour day is over. Ha. It didnt really impact significantly on my current life though. Wasted.

Then the 4th is coming.. I miss you still, old man! (:

Followed by the exams on the 7th. Ha.

Life isnt fun now man! Sheesh